As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
