Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
