is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You were trust falling into bushes
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
