kristin has been a bad kristin
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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