I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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