i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
