it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
