We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
