Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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