you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
