I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize