I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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