Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
