dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
