Just fell off a train. Bad.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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