You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
