it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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