jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
