i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
