Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
