Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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