There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
