White coat. Heels.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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