I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
