I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Randomize
