If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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