I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he's gonorrhea incarnate
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
is it fun? or sober?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
