i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
