Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
