I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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