I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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