we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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