Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
