No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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