Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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