every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my poor anus
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
