why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
