I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
