god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
