saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize