how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
