Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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