I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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