so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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