This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
