guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You can't motorboat a personality
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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