I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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