'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
