dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
