it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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