i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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