Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
