At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
