He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
