it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
