Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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