A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
