Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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