The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
