But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
