I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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