Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
