eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
