My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
